Wills Dumped Kate Because She Wasnt Fun

Prince William has supposedly dumped Kate Middleton because he thought ‘all the fun had gone out of their relationship’.

If that sounds harsh, it could have gone a lot worst if he said what he really felt. I’ve consulted my Man Speak To Real Speak dictionary and have deciphered that what Wills really meant with that comment was: “I’m a rich commitment phobe who’s about to be King, baby. What I really want is to go out all the time and ogle/grab how many bimbos I want without you nagging me about where this relationship is going”.

Here’s what the Daily Mail have to say:

Prince William decided to break up with Kate Middleton because he felt the ‘fun’ had disappeared from their relationship, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.

The 24-year-old Prince told the girl many thought would be his queen that it was all over in a “face-to-face” meeting last weekend.

“He sat her down and told her, he didn’t gild the lily,” said a source.

Afterwards William told a friend: “I’m too young for all this. I’m just doing what normal 24-year-old blokes do. I don’t need to be nailed down. All the fun has gone out of it.”

Another confidant said: “His view is that since his mother’s death, life is for living and anything can happen.

“He is a very clinical young man. He seems to listen to advice and then does what he wants.”

Miss Middleton, who famously kept a photograph of the Prince on her bedroom wall before she met him, was left “desperately upset”. According to her friends, she had always believed they would marry.

Poor Kate. Everyone was so busy romanticising their relationship and going on about how much of Princess Di’s charisma Wills had inherited that they failed to take into account who he also shares his DNA with–Prince Charles. Yes, the insensitive oaf who when asked on announcing their engagement if he loved Princess Di responded with “Whatever love means”. The man who thought it was OK to marry a young girl and then keep a married bit on the side. Is everyone still surprised the Prince dumped Kate with that kind of influence around him?

I’m not saying it’s all familiar influence by proxy that made William leave Kate. William is a young, rich, and good looking guy. He’s a Prince, and as such is used to getting whatever he wants. In the end, what he wants the freedom of a single guy, and it’s better that he was honest with Kate now than marrying her and being as dithering with her feelings as his father was with his mother’s.

Kate is hurting right now, but as I see it, if any man dumps a woman after four years in a loving, committed relationship because she wasn’t fun anymore, she had a lucky escape. There are more things to a relationship than “fun” all the time, and if fun was that important to the Prince, it’s obvious she wouldn’t be able to count on him if something serious happened down the line.

Besides, as I said before, Kate is a lovely, pretty girl. Men are going to be lining up down the block just to watch what she’s got (I’m listening to Fergie, sorry). If the Prince wants fun, send him Disneyland tickets. After singing I Will Survive a couple hundered times with her girlfriends, I think Kate will be just fine.

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